First, let me apologize to you all for the length of time since I last posted. Much has changed in my life and the transition has not been easy. Relationships have changed and I am sure will change again.
But, as usual, I observe what goes on around me and those observations do seem to bring me to some unusual conclusions.
I am an artist, as many of you know, and today I was buying thread for my next construct. One aspect of this one is a progression of threads going from light to dark. In the store, to the consternation of a few women with children, I sat on the floor with a large number of spools, trying to get the right progression. An issue seemed to be that some colors darkened with a more yellowish cast, and some with a more blueish. No problem, just pick the right ones and go home.
Out in the car I put on my sunglasses for the drive and noticed the colors again. Changes, many changes. But not enough to go through the shopping experience again. Once home, I looked at the colors once more. This time without glasses under daylight coming in through the window rather than direct through polarized glasses or the bright store lights. Here, as I am sure you would all expect, the colors were again not exactly the same. This, as you would also expect, put me in mind of Cilantro and green peppers.
My former wife hates green peppers. I do not. I hate Cilantro. She does not. But it does not have anything to do with our taste in food, more in the cause of that taste or how we taste our food. (Here is a short rather simplistic article on it. Here is a short one specific to my differences with Cilantro.) How I taste things may not be how you taste them. Think of that next time you ask, “What do you mean you don’t like….?”
(There is an interesting article in the Business Insider on biological and behavioral differences between Liberals and Conservatives that goes far beyond political differences.)
The point of all of this is that what you received from the world, what you perceive, those elements which move in and around you to make up your day, differ and change depending on where you are, where you receive it, and the nerves, genes, sensing organs and the brain that interprets it. This is why you should look around you. There is beauty there that is given just for you. Truly, No one else can see it.
But this is a blog about my views on relationships within a Daddy/lg, SM, D/s, and M/s relationship. It involves how one takes responsibility for the Trust and Care of another human being who has given you a certain authority over them. Please understand, They are not you! What is easy for you may not be easy for them. They may perceive the world in vastly different ways that are profoundly different than how you do. Give them room to be who they are. First, it is the differences that give the joy in this lifestyle, but also it is exactly those differences that open a window for you to see how the world can be perceived in ways that are new and exciting for you.
So, I suppose what I am saying is that when conflicts arise, perhaps the very first thing that should be done is…breath, ask, “What do you mean by that?”, understand that they are differences between you and them that may go far beyond your current understanding, and let them love Cilantro.